HEALING Words: A Conversation with A Poet

At FRANK BERLIN, we’re all about creating spaces where honest conversations about mental health can thrive. Sharing stories is such a powerful way to connect and break down stigmas. That’s why we’re excited to share this interview with Elena Solonnikov, a poet and writer with a knack for turning her thoughts and experiences into something deeply relatable and meaningful.

Elena has a passion for words that’s hard to miss. Born in Belarus and raised in Germany from the age of four, she’s spent her life surrounded by stories and has made literature a central part of who she is. Having studied literature, she’s channelled her love of writing into poetry and storytelling – a craft she’s determined to pursue full- time in the future.

But Elena’s journey isn’t just about the art she creates. It’s about the personal growth and self-discovery that writing has helped her uncover along the way. She’s open about her experiences with anxiety and the challenges of understanding her mental health. Through talking, writing and reflecting, she’s come to see mental health not as a fixed state, but as an ongoing process – a journey with ups, downs, and everything in between.

In this interview, Elena shares her story with honesty and warmth. She talks about what it took to start opening up about her mental health, how she found self-love through vulnerability and why she believes the journey itself is what matters most.

We hope you enjoy this conversation with Elena as much as we did, conducted by our team member Paige Fourie.

look up;

to your surviving self

so it looks after

the living.

Elena Solonnikov

What does mental health means to you?

ELENA: I have thought a lot about this question, but I think it's a huge part of life for everybody and, if I had to describe it in one word: I would say it's just humanness. I feel like mental health is how we feel and how we act. It’s like the core of our being and around it. It's very complicated and complex in a lot of ways, but I think humanness will describe it pretty much.

How would you describe your mental health journey in your own words?

ELENA: I think it's been very ambivalent; it has been very loud, quiet, very messy in a lot of ways and not straight. Ups and downs... Just like the mental health journey of all of us. It's been difficult and at the same time it has been easier than I thought it would be.

When did you start noticing changes in mental health? What symptoms or challenges did you first notice and how did they impact your daily life?

ELENA: I know that I've dealt with mental health changes in school and my last years of school were very hard. I had a sort of academic anxiety pretty much all my life. I think they call it “test anxiety”. I wasn't very good at school and I had – and I still have – a lot of anxiety around that. But when it started, I didn't really notice it and I didn't really have the words for it. I struggled with it, but it was not on the forefront of my thinking in school and then throughout my whole adult life.

Then it turned into general anxiety. I would sit at home and be anxioux, but there was no test, no immediate threat or something that I could pinpoint to.
Later through therapy, talking and experiences, I learned that it was also depressive episodes – which I also had before but didn't have a word for it! Then it led me to now my diagnosis: I had a huge problem with impulsivity, acting out and not really thinking about consequences. You can imagine, it’s a huge problem in many ways, yet it’s also interesting because these experiences have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember.

Would you say your diagnosis normalized the experience you were having, or how did you feel when you had your diagnosis?

ELENA: I was always thinking, “I need to have a diagnosis!” and “I want it!”. Even to my therapist, I was saying “Give me a diagnosis – Please, just tell me. What is it?”. I had it all my life – the feeling of not fitting somewhere and the feeling of being left out. I needed a place, where I could feel better and where I could fit in with my emotions. When I got diagnosed, I felt relieved because I had something that was worth diving into and worth exploring. At the same time... it's just words on paper.

What do you find in writing that helps you the most?

ELENA: It's the clarity, you know? I think writing is therapeutic. Overall, artists will say that writing is a lot of practice and I definitely agree. However, I think for me it’s more than that. It helps me find out what I feel. If you don't write or if you don’t have that outlet, I don’t think many people will understand, but it’s truly a strange, magical thing. Whenever I start writing something, whether it’s a line or whatever, I type it out or put it on paper, and suddenly I have a poem or something like that. It’s like a light bulb went on. Now, I know what I feel and what emotions I have inside of me. I know how I feel about things, people and whatever experience I went through. For someone whose mind is pretty much constantly racing, it helps to know what you feel and if other people read it and relate to it, it’s just a double win.

How do you think your mental health influence your poetry?

ELENA: I think it makes my poetry very raw and honest. I started writing about love and relationships, thus my first poem was a heartbreak poem and I still do like that, but there is something about writing about mental health topics, that makes it a hundred times more intimate, complex and multi-dimensional. However, it makes it harder to write sometimes, because if my mental health is really bad and I feel very unwell, I can’t write. To be able to write, I still have to feel that there’s room inside myself – like air to breathe and if I don't feel that, I can't write. All of my mental health-related poetry comes from after the fact – after I’ve experienced what I felt. It’s often weeks, months, or even years later, because I didn’t have the words at the time, or I was caught in spirals where I couldn’t articulate it.

How do you approach writing when you're in the thick of your emotions?

ELENA: I have this feeling, where sometimes my fingertips feel like burning with the urge to write. It’s like fire, but when I can’t do it, I just don’t do it – It’s pretty simple. If I feel like I have space and clarity in me, I do love to use prompts then. Last year, I once did a mental health project and we created a prompt list regarding mental health. Projects like this are helpful to get yourself into the flow to write.

Another thing is that I also struggle with emptiness. Emptiness is a huge blocker for writing and I can't write if emptiness is a huge part inside my body. I can’t write without feelings, but if the feeling, the clarity and the idea are present, then I write.

What role does self-reflection play in your writing process?

ELENA: I think you certainly must have it. Not only because to be able to write but to be able to write with honestly and vulnerability. I don't think, that you can write like that without self-reflectio, but at the same time, you can find self-reflection in your writing. My work is a mirror to myself and if I am not able to see or feel something, I write it down. All of the sudden, I have these poems on a piece of paper. Poetry where it’s just me in words. But I think all art and writing is self-reflected.

So how do you feel about sharing such deeply personal poems with an audience?

ELENA: It comes very natural to me, mainly because I find so much meaning in it. Every little fear I have around it just sits in the back seat and if something is important enough, because you love it enough, fear disappears or quietly sits somewhere else. I wouldn’t say I’m afraid of it, but it’s just a different experience. Sharing with people who know you feels much more intimate and personal. On social media, though, I sometimes feel that writing – especially poetry, using metaphors or any way you write – isn’t as vulnerable as people might think. Poetry allows you to express things in a way that doesn’t feel so heavy, unlike journaling. I’m still not someone who journals. Poetry just comes more naturally to me than sitting down to write everything out. Journaling feels heavier – it’s like confronting everything head-on – whereas writing a poem lets me pause and process it in a lighter way.

Do you get feedback from your readers and listeners? How has your work impacted their mental health?

ELENA: Yes, I do and it's what means the most to me. Besides all the likes and comments and all that stuff – people care. Here is one thing I will never forget: I once posted a poem about body image. Many people started to comment how brave it is to speak about it. It yet again proves that mental health discussions are not normalized. Even though it’s normal and it affects us all. It's a nice thing to hear but I also feel two- faced about it, because I don't want it to be brave, I want it to be normal and I want it to be normalized. I just did what we must do as human beings: share our experiences and be clear about it – be vulnerable about it. In my opinion, vulnerability is not a choice. It's rather something most of us unlearn as we grow and if you find it again, you have to use it.

They tell me that it helps them to look at vulnerability as something beautiful and important or even just the act of opening up. I feel that's the biggest compliment that you can get as a person and as a writer especially, because it was just you letting it out into the world and now it's arriving at the right hearts with the right intentions. That’s the biggest blessing to me.

If you could speak to someone who are facing similar struggles to you, what would you say to them?

ELENA: I would say, learn to talk about it. If you don't have people around, find people or at least try to find people. For me, social media has been a big help. I found people who had similar issues and similar experiences as me, but I know it’s hard for a lot of people. Also try to learn self-love. Learn to be your own safe haven. Learn from your own humanness – without judgment and without becoming a hostage to it. Learn to get a relationship with your own human. I feel like if you build this relationship with yourself, it becomes much easier to open up to others and find the help you need. But first, you have to find that help within yourself – and sometimes, even for that, you need support. Connect with your humanness, embrace it, and learn to hug your own humanity. Try to be okay with it.

If you’d like to get to know Elena better, be sure to visit her Instagram page @elenaspoetry. There, she shares her heartfelt and thought-provoking poems inspired by her personal journey.