Breaking Comfort: Certainty of Uncertainty

As seasons shift and life moves forward, change becomes an inevitable part of our journey. Sometimes, it’s exciting and transformative—a new job, a move, or a fresh start. Other times, it’s daunting—unexpected challenges, loss, or transitions that throw us off balance. Regardless of the nature of these changes, one thing remains constant: uncertainty.

It looms in the background, pushing us out of our comfort zones and forcing us to adapt.

Uncertainty can feel overwhelming, leaving us questioning the future and doubting ourselves. A study by the American Psychological Association reveals that uncertainty triggers stress responses in the brain similar to physical threats, making us crave control and stability. But life doesn’t come with a manual, and often, our plans are subject to forces beyond our control. Big life changes, whether planned or unexpected, often come with a range of emotions. Excitement may quickly give way to fear or self-doubt.

For some, the uncertainty of “what’s next” can feel like standing on a cliff, staring into the unknown. This emotional rollercoaster is a natural response to transitions—our brains are wired to resist change because it disrupts the familiar patterns we’ve grown to rely on.

But not all change is negative. Growth rarely happens in comfort zones. Acknowledging the discomfort while remaining open to new possibilities is the first step to adapting.

 “A ship is safe in harbor, but that's not what ships are for.”

― John A. Shedd

But why uncertainty feels so hard?

Uncertainty taps into our deepest fears—fear of failure, fear of the unknown, and fear of losing control. According to research by neuroscientist Dean Mobbs, the brain processes uncertainty as a threat, amplifying anxiety and stress. Apparently we (humans) thrive when we feel in control of our environment. However, uncertainty strips away this perception, making us feel helpless or stuck. Uncertainty demands constant decision-making and re-evaluation. This mental strain, also known as cognitive load, can exhaust emotional resources, leaving us overwhelmed and less capable of managing stress. Our mind naturally seeks closure, and when answers aren’t available, we fill the gaps with worry or worst-case scenarios.

Furthermore, in many cultures, there is a strong emphasis on planning and achieving specific milestones (career, relationships, etc.). Uncertain situations challenge these expectations, making it harder for us to navigate societal pressures.

Yet, uncertainty also holds potential. It’s a space where possibilities exist, where growth and discovery happen. Learning to live in that space can transform how we approach change and handle life’s unpredictability.

Navigating change requires patience and self-compassion

Sometimes we might need some strategies to help us manage these uncertainties. Instead of resisting change, focusing on what’s within our control, embracing the idea that uncertainty is part of life and often brings opportunities you hadn’t considered is one of these. It is accepting the unknown. Another one is to focus on the present. Worrying about the future robs you of the present. Ground yourself with mindfulness practices, like deep breathing or meditation, to reduce stress.

View challenges as opportunities to grow. Resilience doesn’t mean avoiding difficulties but learning to recover and grow stronger after facing them. We should always aspire to the best version of ourselves. When one path doesn’t work out, explore alternatives. Most of the times we just have to tell ourselves “It won’t be the end of the world” and learn to be flexible. Being open to change will help us adjust more smoothly.

Remember

We don’t need to navigate change alone. Opening up to friends, family, or a therapist can provide a much-needed sense of relief. Even if there’s no immediate solution, sharing your thoughts can help lighten the emotional burden and remind you that others have faced similar uncertainties. They, too, have had moments when the path ahead was unclear, yet they found a way forward. Just as they survived those times, you will find your way through this as well.

And finally, my personal favorite approach to navigating these situations:

Imagine your closest friend—someone you care deeply about—comes to you with the same worries you're experiencing. What would you say to them? Often, we’re far harsher on ourselves than we’d ever be with others, letting self-critical thoughts spiral unchecked. By flipping the perspective and offering yourself the same compassion you'd extend to a loved one, you can interrupt this cycle. This simple mental shift not only fosters kindness toward yourself but also helps cultivate a more supportive inner dialogue, making it a powerful tool for emotional resilience.

Beauty In Change: Wabi-sabi

Change is often viewed as disruptive, unsettling, or even something to fear. Yet, hidden within its fluidity lies the potential for profound beauty and growth. The Japanese philosophy of wabi-sabi offers us a lens through which we can see the imperfections of change not as flaws, but as opportunities for appreciation, transformation, and renewal.

Wabi-sabi is a worldview rooted in accepting transience and imperfection. It teaches us to appreciate the natural cycle of life—growth, decay, and eventual rebirth. This philosophy sees beauty in the cracks, the weathered surfaces, and the asymmetry of life. The broken ceramic repaired with kintsugi (golden joinery) is not discarded but celebrated for its resilience and history.

When we apply wabi-sabi to the concept of change, we begin to understand that every shift, no matter how challenging, carries its own unique beauty. Transitions may leave marks on us—physically, emotionally, or spiritually—but those marks are what make us human and whole. They tell a story of adaptation and strength.

Wabi-sabi teaches us to stop striving for unattainable perfection and instead embrace the unfolding process of who we are becoming. By focusing on the small, meaningful details within change—a quiet morning after a storm, the warmth of a friend's support during tough times—we can find beauty in moments of uncertainty. Whether the change is a gentle nudge or a storm that uproots your plans, adapting doesn’t mean having all the answers—it means showing up, staying open, and moving forward.

Change doesn’t need to be perfect to be valuable

When we shift our perspective to appreciate its raw and imperfect beauty, we align ourselves with the rhythm of life. Instead of resisting the inevitable, we can learn to flow with it, trusting that even in life’s uncertainty, there is grace and meaning to be found. It’s true that life’s unpredictability can feel overwhelming, but it also holds endless potential.

By embracing change and uncertainty, you create space for growth, discovery, and new beginnings.

References

American Psychological Association. (2021). The great unknown: 10 tips for dealing with the stress of uncertainty. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/topics/stress/uncertainty

Aoki-Alcerro, S. (2021). Japanese culture: The actual meaning of wabi-sabi. Nakamoto Forestry. Retrieved from https://nakamotoforestry.com/japanese-culture-the-actual-meaning-of-wabi-sabi/

Grupe, D. W., & Nitschke, J. B. (2013). Uncertainty and anticipation in anxiety: An integrated neurobiological and psychological perspective. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 14(7), 488–501. https://doi.org/10.1038/nrn3524

Itani, O. (2021). 5 teachings from the Japanese wabi-sabi philosophy that can drastically improve your life. Omar Itani. Retrieved from https://www.omaritani.com/blog/wabi-sabi-philosophy-teachings

KYOTO Inn & Tour. (2019). Why is it difficult to understand what wabi-sabi means? Retrieved from https://www.kyoto-ryokan-sakura.com/archives/191

Morriss, J., Christakou, A., & van Reekum, C. M. (2021). Intolerance of uncertainty is associated with heightened responding in the prefrontal cortex during cue-signalled uncertainty of threat. Cognitive, Affective, & Behavioral Neuroscience. https://doi.org/10.3758/s13415-021-00932-7

Peters, A., McEwen, B. S., & Friston, K. (2017). Uncertainty and stress: Why it causes diseases and how it is mastered by the brain. Progress in Neurobiology, 156, 164–188. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.pneurobio.2017.05.004

Vonster. (2021). Embracing life as it is: Lessons from wabi-sabi, haiku, and Zen. Ikigaikan.com. Retrieved November 26, 2024, from https://ikigaikan.com/reviews/embracing-life-as-it-is-lessons-from-wabi-sabi-haiku-and-zen/